*This were rants a week ago but, this issue might still bother me*

This just got me thinking.

Honestly, I don't even know what a real family should feel like. I don't mean having a comfortable roof over your head, getting sufficient daily allowance and having free meals whenever I'm with the family. I'm talking about the essence of it, the values, the conversations we share, etc.

It apparently seems like my family (including myself) fall into the 'needs provided' category. There's not much interactions (except some times when i get to talk to my mum about world affairs and finding how our relatives are doing, or when me and my brother get to play rounds of games together). Everyone is kinda separated, due to busy schedules (i'm guilty of that), school, work or negative emotions.

Also, it turns out that i can't confide too much in my family because since young, my brother always send my secrets of liking a guy or having a boyfriend to my mum, and i'm pretty sick of that.
You can't always let your family members know too much of what's inside your heart and mind. Even if i did, they'll usually be neutral in their responses, almost apathetic.

That's why i turn to friends. I'm a sucker for good and trustworthy friends. Friendships make such a big part in my life, despite me being such an ass and giving up a few wonderful friendships while i was attached or in a relationship, all because i believed that romance would stand stronger than friendships (well proven wrong a few times & never gon' be bitten again).

I just hope I would be a better parent and be much more involved with my kid, not only financially and physically supporting them, but also emotionally and psychologically. There's nothing better than reaching home from a bad or long day of school or work, and having a warm hug from your parents, then sit down for dinner while we start on our daily conversations and sharings of our day.