So glad i got to go to church today! (:
but when i came back...
suddenly, everyone's kinda splitted up D:
almost half of the cell group now go for sat service instead, 'cos they can't make it on sun.
then suddenly, half of the cell's gone D:
i miss everyone so much.
felt down at the beginning, thankfully the songs made me high (:
thanks God, i know You're there with me.
Church was awesome, with Dr. Niko sharing his testimony, and introducing us how the Indonesians praise & worship God (:
really got me high (:
Got emotional at some part then again :x
Broke down when we sang 'Nothing Is Impossible'.
Guessed i was too emotional :/
oops.
Lunched @ Eighteen Chefs w/ the cell, had
Curry +
Scrambled Eggs CBR :]
YUM!
chatted on the phone for 15 mins, then texted on the way home.
Walao, i really hate myself, i'm such a fucktard. I think i changed alot, IDK IDK IDK! now i'm like neglecting so much stuff, and being too insensitive towards people's feelings. Okay, maybe there was a misunderstanding, 'cos i thought that you didn't like to have me close to you :x since i thought you had some friends in the class, i thought you would be happy. i didn't know i hurt you in the slightest way. i'm so damn angry with myself. why why why. things aren't turning out well. sec3 life is tough though it's fun. art & maths are fucking tough. they're giving a hellavu stress, and i felt so zibei now. idk, idk. i feel so stupid and dumb. then now, another neglecting prob had surfaced. after one prob had been solved, another came. what the fuck is wrong with me. seriously. i think i'm creating a wall in between me and the world. seriously, i think i've changed alot. IDK WHY WHY WHY D: I FEEL SO STRESSED BEING THIS NEW ME. BUT I CAN'T RETURN TO THE OLD ME. OMG OMG OMG. i hurted far too many people D:
omgomgomg. i know it's hard for you to be comforted or anything, i'm really really damn damn sorry. you know, i felt damn happy too when i heard that you're in my class. since we knew each other since primary school. but since you felt so attached to your sec2 class, i didn't want to come and "extra". i felt the sudden change in me. not for the better, it's for the worse. i feel so stupid, i hate myself manzxz. ): ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i really should learn to wear my heart on my sleeves, and be more understanding & sensitive. now i think i'm neglecting you. and you. and you. and many more yous.
omgoshhhhhhhhhhhhh D:
my heart is breaking damn badly. God, help me ):
whywhywhywhywhy. damn it. i'm so sorry for causing these sadness ):
i know what i'm saying now will not change anything. is it too late for regrets? i must really change, and be more sensitive. DAMN IT.
okay shall do my art homework.
byee :/
LIMCHEARMIN :)
26/07.